Courage.

I wish I am able to rewind time back to the carefree poly days.

As I grow older, there are so many things that I cant understand... I used to think love was a very simple thing in life. Two individuals who love will be happy together. But no, that's not how life works. Disagreements, distrust, goals, time, personal issues.. all of these which contribute to unhappy moments for lovers.

I've seen too many couples who are together for years yet so unhappy with each other, the only thing keeping them together are the commitments - not love. I've seen couples who are madly in love, but they can't be together because of stupid reasons and issues - they can't let go of the silly things and break down their walls.

I wish to be happy, and I want to do things that makes me happy. Never in my life that I would find myself back in the situation I was in 9 years back. Mustered all my courage for that leap of faith, went for the jump, yet bruised all over like how I ended up 9 years ago. From now on, never in my life would I ever open up myself to someone else again. Never.

Thinking back, it could be a blessing in disguise. How could I ever put my trust completely for somebody again? With all of the distrust & betrayal I've seen and experienced, all I am capable of doing is to hurt people. And I would always, without fail, hurt them for no good reason, other than the fact that I'm broken.